Revelations, or as a niece would say, epiphanies

The trail to this epiphany is a little circuitous, but I will explain that some of it includes that I have started reading "The Gospel According to Oprah" by Marcia Z. Nelson... There were somethings in the beginning of the book that made me realize something about time: Most of you may be familiar with the Bible verses about there being a time for every season or purpose... Being a raised Catholic, I can not quote chapter and verse... The Byrds, in the 60s or 70s released a song, "Turn, Turn, Turn" which expresses the idea that there is a time for every season under heaven....(a time to be born, a time to die, etc). I have always understood this to mean that there is a time of year or a timeline for every event that happens



What I have not understood, until today, is that there is time for EVERY event that happens, under Heaven.. I mean, whatever is happening right now, right this minute, is allowed as much time as it needs, as it takes.... This means that I have permission, the right, the OBLIGATION, if you will, to take as much time as I need to, to experience this event that is happening right now... I know that for years I have not been able to wait patiently, sit still, not multi-task, because I was rushing through life, perhaps without allowing time for the event at hand...What have I missed... What could I or should I have taken the time to experience?



So, for whatever is now happening, I have time to experience it, if I allow myself that time... what a revelation..



Part of this epiphany includes an experience while I was undergoing a medical procedure recently... The technician was asking me if I was in a hurry to go on to something else, explaining that her week had been full of people who were in a hurry to go on to something else, including one person who was trying to catch a plane...



I told her I used to be like that, but have learned, a long time ago, not to put myself in that position... I go to my appointments with nothing pending, nothing to rush for... I have always been blessed with
jobs with sick leave, but did not appreciate the time it allowed me... I have generally been blessed with jobs with flexible schedules, but again, did not appreciate the time it allowed me....Now, I just go, and accept the procedure at hand is the primary task, and whatever I can do to make waiting pleasant is a blessing.

I realized this when I heard a young mother ask when their turn for care would occur... They were "walk-ins" who had been waiting a while, and also needed to get some lab work done before closing, and it was getting late. The receptionist agreed to "hold" their spot, while they went for the lab work... I was thinking about how many times I had angrily asked when "my turn" would occur...I was so rude. What made me think my time was so important, I was so special, that I did not have to wait my turn... (what a jerk I was.)

I am grateful to have this revelation of time: to know that what I am doing is the most important thing I can and should be doing at this time, for this time of my life...

Haiku's Request

I have 2 inside cats: Sake, the "Bitch Kitty" with too much hair who came into my life fairly self assured, very loved, and ever after the "Queen of the May."

Haiku was adopted when she was about 9 months old, from a family who did not abuse her, but was unable to put her welfare first... Her early nutrition was lacking, and her early home life was not as nurturing as it could have been, having been adopted by a freshman college student who left her home with a mother who was a Dachsund person (I am a Dachsund person, so I understand.) The transition to allowing and accepting Haiku into Sake's life has been, and continues to be a roller coaster... After about 3-4 weeks in residence, Haiku could be in the house, but she used every smaller kitten hiding place she needed to use, when she and Sake were in the house alone... I knew it, but the freedom to roam, was, I hope worth the times she had to hide... I don't know...

That was in 2002, and many, many experiences have passed that I shall not document here. But two are significant. About 3 years ago, Haiku told me she objected to some treatment she was recieving: she had ear mites, and after several applications of ointment to treat that problem, she told me she did not like it...She submitted, just the same, but never before had objected.... It was like before then, she did not know she could object. I was relieved that she could voice displeasure like that.. She had voiced displeasure when stumbled upon, or otherwise intruded upon, but not like that! Wow!

Well, soon after that, her ears returned to pink, and no longer needed treatment...

Haiku occasionally campaigns for kisses, especially in the morning, when I brush my teeth: she likes the mint flavored toothpaste. She, like, Sake, campaigns for me to awaken early, and feed breakfast... I don't mind the awakening early part, but am concerned that a 6 AM breakfast will result in a mid-morning snack request, a late morning snack request, a noon snack request, when I am home, you get the picture...

On the other hand, Haiku, and Sake help me manage my morning risings: the alarm goes off at 5:30 and I may or may not arise at that time... If I have had a bad night, neither cat awakens me until 7 AM, which, with an abbreviated morning routine, can get me to work by 8:15 AM. (I have a very flexible work schedule... Even on treatment team day, I could arrive at 8:15, and be available for treatment team, without, unfortunately, a review of overnight activities. But acceptable, not stellar.)

Sake likes to go outside... Her options include a pen in the back yard; a harness for the front yard, and the stroller... She lets her choices be known for the former two, but has not yet asked for the latter...

Haiku is fearful of the outside: the pen is scary to her... She may ask or acceed to the harness in the front yard, but even the least noise frightens her to returning to the house...She is tolerant but not happy about the stroller.

This summer has been very hot, and I have upped the daytime thermostat setting from 80 to 82. Bearable, even for me, if I am not doing physical work like house work, just reading, knitting, computering... Okay for the cats, who sometimes want to go into the garage to warm up (or so it would seem.)

When Haiku was introduced to the house, it was in the "office." She still claims that room, although Sake does roost on the desk by the east window, from time to time... When I vacuum, starting in the office, by the time I am done, Haiku has deposited fur clumps in the office...territorial marking. She likes to sleep on the office chair, but is sure to announce her presence, as in the past, not being aware of her presence, I have "sat on her." She frequently sleeps on the floor, using the chair base as a prop for her head... I have variably left the ceiling fan on during the summer...

Most recently, I left the ceiling fan on for about 10 days, then, since I was not using the desk top computer in that room, I did turned it off. That evening, Haiku, uncharacteristically, rubbing my legs, made motions for me to follow her.

We went into the "office." I could not console Haiku, so I picked her up, and she just looked up at the fan... I turned it on, and she continued to look at the fan, and shortly there after, got down. She was consoled.. Wow!!!

Coffee and Cigarettes

I recently traveled to New York City for a family get together/celebration. I had occasion to use the Long Island Railroad, and on one part of the trip, sat next to a woman who was traveling to visit relatives on Long Island. Her speech was heavily accented, and what the accent was, I am not sure. We chatted some, it was a pleasant interchange. She made a very interesting observation:



We were talking about the changes in the city. She mentioned she had only taken an "air ride" once before. I had previously heard the term, but was not sure what it meant. I think, though, it meant the kind of train in which we were riding: smooth, little ambient noise, compared to the clacking, whooshing roar of some of the other trains and subways.



This woman also talked about how much cleaner the city was... I had to agree, although it has been 10 or 12 years since I was in New York City, and then, I was in lower Manhattan...But, I will say that my forays to Central Park, the Empire State Building, Grand Central Station and Time Square during this trip left me with the impression that the city was not as dirty as I had recalled.



The most interesting observation of this co-traveler was about coffee and cigarettes. She noted that years ago everything was filled with cigarette smoke: subways, trains, restaurants, etc... She commented now, that everyone has coffee with them... I began to think about it, and in many ways, she is right: think of how many Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts as well as local, non-chain coffee shops there are...And, what would happen to someone if they were denied their caffeine fix for a day..



I have long since said that people in AA change one addictive behavior for (an)other(s). I think AA members use coffee, cigarettes,and sometimes mints or other suckers to keep me from drinking. I think this woman's observations were right on target: The city is noticeably cleaner, but we now have caffeine addicts running around, trying to find another substitute and using caffeine as their "drug of choice."

We are either very Celebratory or very Foolhardy

Today is February 2nd, traditionally celebrated as Groundhog Dog, the day Puxatawney Phil predicts the continuation of winter, or the onset of spring... This year, I was watching the television coverage and noticing all the hoopla, partying, festivities associated with this event. And, it has spread around the country, with various rodents making similar predictions. In Lubbock, it is Prarie Dog Pete...

The festivities surrounding this event amazed me and made we wonder why we are such a partying society. Is it truly celebration of the event, or just "we don't need a reason to party, we just do." Granted, the Groundhog Day groundswell of festivities occurred after the movie of the same name, but think of what else we celebrate. February 2nd is also "the day the music died." This is the day Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper, and Richie Valens died in an airplane crash in Iowa, and this year is the 50th anniversary of the crash... Various commemorations acknowledged the event.

Think of what else we celebrate: the major holidays, of course, and a variety of Federal, State, County, local and religious holidays.

We have various designations for months: Breast Cancer Awareness Month, March is Social Work Month, Boss' Day, Administrative Assistants' Day; Black History Month. We celebrate sports: The college football bowl games, the Superbowl, Daytona 500, the World Series, March Madness. It is fitting that we celebrate the Presidential Inauguration, but it is not a national holiday. Mardi Gras and Halloween are important adult celebration days. Halloween has shifted from a children's celebration to an adult celebration. Mardi Gras is less about preparing for lent and more about a blow out bash.

Okay, I think about the Roman Empire, and some of my history memories include that the Roman Empire's decline in part was due to the hedonism of the leaders and the people... Are we headed that way?

I think acknowledgement and celebration are good, but I think moderation is the most vital factor in doing so... And honoring people is more important than events.

Cat Concepts

I forgot to set the clocks back before I went to bed last night, but I am not sure that it would have made much of a difference. Somehow, quite uncannily, one or both of my cats insist almost every morning, that I get up before the alarm goes off. I do not understand this, but they do. Sometimes, I tell them to go away, and come back at such and such time, or to come back in 15 minutes. Usually they return quite accurately close to the time I instructed them to return. I mean, within minutes if not on the button. Rarely, do they go away and leave me alone. Yet, if I am not feeling well, and really do need extra sleep, I am permitted to sleep. I do not understand.

So, of course, the most insistent of the two cats wanted me to wake up this morning, about 5:25 AM, which, with the time change was really 4:25 AM. I promised to get up at 6, and sure enough, at 6, she was back. Sometimes, I do not keep my promise, but I was wide awake and ready to meet my day, so, up I got. And, after feeding breakfast that neither cat was in a hurry to eat, doing all the "cat chores," I eagerly opened the newspaper to read the story about the FANTASTIC Texas Tech victory over Texas yesterday. And, on the first page of the newspaper, along with THAT headline, was the reminder to set back your clocks. So, I did.

Well, the point is, I do not think it would have mattered if I had set my clocks back or not. My cats are on their own schedule, and do adjust, over time, with the time change, but by my changed behaviors, not by the time change. I do not think my cats understand the concept of time change. Sometimes, I think life would be easier if I only had to live by the concepts my cats could understand.

Intolerance

Tonight I attended the last of four sessions on the Bible vs. the Quran. It was a very interesting class, and I suspect everybody in the group had their own agendas...There were some who had some baggage and definite anti-prejudices. Others were so bogged down in their own Christianity that they could not see Islam. Most, however, were searchers.. I want to be a searcher.

My closing comments included learning about our enemy, if they are our enemy, knowing this is a small world, focusing on similarities, not differences, and resolving differences. I also made the comment that we are very closed in some ways, and do not realize that many peoples in the world do not like Americans, as Americans do not like Muslims...

I don't think Americans do not like Muslims. I think Americans do not like the invasions of our country and the threats to the way of life we have, even if it is not always the best way of life to have. I think many countries see our wealthy consumptiveness as INTOLERABLE and UNCHRISTIAN and attack our ideals that support that...

One member talked about intolerance, and I did not really understand what she was trying to say, but it sounded like she wanted to stay on the same page of her life where she is.

I worry that that is me, and I do not want to stay on the same page of my life where I am ... I want to grow and be more aware and tolerant of the rest of the world. I am more and more aware that good stewardship of our Earth will lead to more tolerance for Americans! And, that good Stewardship means being ecologically prudent, being economically prudent, and being politically prudent, to cite a few realms. Oh my! I feel like I am juggling fire...

Melancholia and Nostalgia

I like the word "melancholia" it really describes where I am at sometimes... And tonight, along with melancholia I am feeling some nostalgia. I am rethinking past experiences that were sweet, fine, mellow, exciting, soul soothing... I am blessed that I have these memories to consider... It makes me appreciate. Some of those experiences were unexpected, so somewhere, in my future, maybe there will be good experiences of the same ilk...