Carless

Quite unexpectedly this morning, the Vue did not want to start.  Finally, it did.  I drove it to work, shut it off, and tried to start it.  It was difficult to start, again.  So, I called into work, drove home, put the car, still running, in the garage, door down. I went into the house and found my warranty information, turned in my purse, took my driver's license and credit card with me (I have these in a separate wrist holder in my purse; when I kayak, I only take this wrist holder), and drove to the dealership.  The car is still under warranty, and I have an extended warranty, so even it is a simple battery replacement, I want the dealership to work on the car, in case it involves warranty work.

The courtesy van took me to work.  I can take the wrist holder into the prison, so, when I get back to the car, I have what I need.

The dealership is always busy.  Sometimes, when I make an appointment for service, it can be 3 to 5 working days from my phone call before I can get in.  I am glad for Scoggin Dickey http://www.scoggindickey.com/ that their service business is that brisk.  Their hours are extended, from 7 AM to 6:30 PM.  They have a courtesy van, which takes me to and from work, as needed. So, they are relatively easy to access.

Well, because I did not have an appointment, they could not guarantee that they would even check out my vehicle today.  Not good.  But a car that does not start reliably is of no value to me. 

So, by 4:45pm. my car was not repaired. A coworker had offered to take me home, and I took her up on her offer.  Another co-worker had said she could get me to work Thursday morning. I took her up on her offer. 

I could have gotten a rental car:  Enterprise makes it fairly easy. http://www.enterprise.com/car_rental/deeplinkmap.do?bid=1284&xparm=lubbock-car-rental They will pick you up, and I could have done that from the house.  But, I did not need to go anywhere tonight. And my ride to work was tended to.

There was a chance that, with the service department being open until 6:30 PM, my car would have been ready tonight. But it was not.

Usually, when my car is in the shop, I feel very disenfranchised: I do not have the access and control of having my vehicle available that is important to me.

Today, while I worried about timing, I was busy enough that I did not have the sense of urgency and panic I sometimes have.  I had several co-workers who offered me rides to and from work. I had no sense of panic.  When I arrived home, I felt oddly content that it was okay to be without a car.

That is a very different experience for me.  Hmmmmmmmmm.

Expanding Your Limits

Recently, I was asked to work on a knitting project for someone. The request included selecting a pattern which I had not worked on before, and which required me to expand my skills and capabilities as a knitter. Although I felt I was up to the task, I faced the project with some trepidation.  However, it has gone much more smoothly than I had anticipated.  I faced some blocks along the way, when I felt sure the project was not going to turn out as I had hoped.  But, ultimately, it seems to have gone well.  I am not done, I have a little more knitting to do. But what remains to be done is well within my skill level and past experience.

It is good to be challenged to expand one's limits and horizons. It helps to build self esteem. It helps to foster creativity. And it certainly can develop a sense of accomplishment.  Additionally, if the experience is positive it can add to a sense of pleasure and even well being.

If the experience does not turn out so well, we can still use it as a positive learning experience. Perhaps it becomes a matter of knowing what we do not like, once we try something. Or, acknowledging what we learned, what we learned not to do, what we learned to do differently next time. Experience, positive or negative,  is still growth and life expanding.

Midnight Marauders

Who are your midnight maraudes? Who are the people, visions, visitors who enter into your dreams and steal your peace of mind restful sleep?

Are you one of the lucky ones who does not have a midngiht marauder? Or, are you one of us who have varying and multipe midnight marauders.

I am blessed. My midnight marauderrs are at worst, spiteful, but generally benign, nagging but not vicious. 

But there are those whose midnight marauders are hateful, vicious, evil marauders. For many people, medication, counseling, working on changing of thinking, relaxation and meditation just does not seem to impact those midnight marauders.

God bless us all. Hopefully we can handle the midnight marauders.

Blogging vs. Journaling

I used to journal.  There was a period in my life when I journaled almost every day.  Now, I rarely journal, but occasionally do...

Most of my writing energy is spent on blogging.  Well, that is not true.  I spend a large part of my work day documenting the interactions I have with patients, and this is sometimes done longhand, but mostly on the computer.  So, when I get home,  I am written out and computered out.

I understand why serious writers need no distractions so they can write.  My brain is so filled with brain chatter that I can not focus, sometimes, to know what to write.  I may have an idea, but I can not focus to present it appropriately.  Or, there is so much pinging in my brain, I can not find an idea.  It is rare that I have "writer's block" because my brain is quiet.  On the contrary, my writer's block occurs when my brain is overactive....

But sometimes, the topic on my brain is too intimate to put in a blog.  I think about this... We put out so much personal information about ourselves on line, we do not have a private nor intimate self...There are just some things I will not share with the public world.  That is when I turn to my journal.

This is a lesson for not just young people, but all of us... How much of our private lives do we want to share?  I read the Facebook entries of many people I know, and I find myself subject to intimate, private details I do not feel comfortable knowing.  I wish people would be more discrete with their publishings.

If you must express your most intimate thoughts and feelings, please, journal.  Do not blog or social network.

Making Plans versus Being Spontaneous

I can be very spontaneous about activities, and sometimes am.  But, I know myself, and know that I do better if a I have a plan.  It does not need to be a detailed plan, but there has to be some semblance of an idea or possibility that the activity will occur, before I usually engage in the activity.

I think this is in keeping with my somewhat rigid sense of rules and right and wrong.  I can be flexible, and I understand about grey areas.  But I do not like to break rules, I like to do the right thing just because it is the right thing to do. 

But, if I am contemplating an activity, and have considered it for a while, when the time comes, I frequently act swiftly.  So, while that is not total spontaneity, I do act quickly and on what some might think impulse.  It is just that they do not realize how much mental energy I have already put into the activity.

Expanding My Comfort Zone

We were discussing today about doing things on our own, versus with a companion.  My colleague was talking about not enjoying doing things alone, and that she had always had someone: a sister or cousin, husband, children.  She commented that she is learning to do more on her own now.

I have done things on my own since I can remember.  I am grateful that long ago, I learned that I do things because I enjoy the activity, or I do things, because I want the companionship.  I often do not have the patience for people who do not live life at my pace, and prefer to go on my own.  I have diverse interests, and sometimes, can not find someone who wants to share them with me.

The best reason for doing things on my own is because I am able to expand my horizons.  I have found that I enjoy new and different experiences, and do not always have someone to attend to them with me.  If I had let not having a companion stop me, I can not imagine all the things I would have missed in my life.   I am so grateful for having spent time in life expanding my horizons.  I will say that I have not always been in a frame of mind to expand my horizons.  Sometimes, I contract my horizons, and close my self off.  But, when I am expanding my horizons, I am feeling very good about myself and life.

Tonight, I took up the offer from a colleague to attend, with the Interfaith Alliance group, the Shabbat services at the local Jewish synagogue.   It was a wonderful experience, and the congregation was very welcoming.