Doing

Tonight, I had too much to do.  I had a social event planned with friends.  A wake interposed.  I had planned to do some chores last night, but with my car in the shop, the chores did not get done, but were time sensitive, and needed to be finished before morning 4/29/11.

So. I went to the social event.  Made my way over to the wake. And, found an alternate way to tend to the chores than I would have normally done.  It takes some creativity, effort, and time, but things can be managed.

Is it Only Tuesday?

It was a long day at work today: I was doing chart reviews. I usually do chart reviews on Wednesday or Thursday, so my brain is having some trouble reconciling the fact that it is only Tuesday.

But, I have had to step up my schedule:  Friday all day, I am at a continuing education workshop, which counts for work, but precludes my getting things done at the unit.

So, what needed to happen, happened. It just felt weird.

Cooling Down

The weather has become summer warm, and controlling the temperature in the house at this time has become a bit of a gambit.  It is really not warm enough for the air conditioner, especially with the over night temperatures reaching into the 30's sometimes. But the day time temperatures are sometimes in the 90's.

So, I am struggling with temperature control right now. In the evenings, after the sun has gone down, and the wind blowing the dust has laid, I can open the house to try to cool the temperature.

But, I am well aware of the crime rate in my neighborhood, and am concerned about easy access through windows.

So, I open windows where I can monitor them. The windows I have do have a lock feature, but that only allows 3-4 inches of air in.   And, I do not trust the lock feature. So my open windows are open when I am up and alert, and can monitor them.

I am hoping to cool the house down tonight. What with the blowing air, and the ambient temperature, I may get some help.

Being Off

My schedule has changed this week, because the doctor is out, and we are not seeing patients for treatment team until he returns.  I am still seeing patients. And, I have plenty of other work to do, including going to training. 

But, I am off. I want it to be Wednesday night, not Tuesday.  I am afraid that tomorrow I will be mis-aligned into thinking it is Thursday.

Maybe I can re-align myself.

Daylight Savings Time

Most of us have little difficulty adjusting to standard time, when, in the autumn, we push the clock back an hour. It requires a little adjustment, but because it can be the occasion for an extra hour of sleep, it seems not to be a bad adjustment, usually.

Generally, I do not have much difficulty adjusting to daylight savings time. But this year, something is different. Of course, losing an hour of sleep can be a problem. But, part of the problem is that the weather has been so pleasant, that when I get home from work, I do not want to be inside. So, I am outside longer than I intend. But, when I finally do go inside, I still have projects to which to attend, some of which I can not work on outside. So, I expect to complete those projects, although I start later than I am used to doing.

Consequently, I am getting less sleep.  I am feeling the effects of it. So much so, Friday at work was a very, very long day for me.  And, I decided to change my plans for Saturday, to afford me extra rest.  But, here it is, closing in on midnight, and I am still awake.  I do not mind now, but it makes early rising difficult.  And, I keep saying, maybe tomorrow night, I can get to bed early. I also know that if I can force the early rising, I will be able to get to sleep sooner at night, and get my schedule adjusted. It just takes some self discipline.  Of which I am capable, but obviously not engaging in currently.

An Extra TV Channel

I was surfing tonight looking for what is on the television...I have Suddenlink Cable (and Internet) http://www.suddenlink.com/.  They have what the employees call "an awesome TV guide;" you can get programming information online and with the TV.  I usually use the menu, and have forgotten about the revolving menu that I used to use...The thing is, using that menu gives an extra channel of programming.  Tonight, it includes a movie... Duh, use this more often.

Spontaneity

I am not a very spontaneous person.  I tend to be goal oriented, and frame my days with mental, written, and/or typed lists of what I expect to accomplish. 

I go to work with an idea of the minimum or maximum tasks I want to accomplish.

I plan my weeknights and weekends in generally the same way.  I have grown to hate house work, and that is how I motivate myself to do it:  it becomes an item on my list that needs to get checked off... It might be that I notice something needs doing, and it gets assigned a day to do it... I hate housework.

So, my recent trip, while not unplanned, did contain some spontaneous doings:  I had planned to go to Taos, I did not plan to go to the Pueblo.  I went to an arts and crafts fair I did not plan to attend.

And, I took a route that I did not even consider, at one point.  

Today was a beautiful day.  I knew I wanted to get groceries, watch the Texas Tech football game, and watch the Yankee game.   I figured between these activities, I would spend sometime outside, puttering, reading or what have you... Well, it was so beautiful, I decided to go kayaking, although I had mentally thought I was past the last kayaking outing of the fall... It felt good to be spontaneous...

The Vacation Lingers

I took a very relaxing, very refreshing three day weekend last weekend.  Usually, when I take a trip, I enjoy the trip but do not necessarily come back refreshed.  First of all, as a child, we did not take a lot of overnight vacations.  And, when we did, they always seemed to be stressful: money was tight, my mom did a lot of the work to get ready and go, and we stayed someplace where my mom had to do meals and housework... So a lot of the emotional atmosphere of the vacation was not leisure but business as usual, or even stressful.

I am very task oriented, so "letting go" on a vacation has been hard for me. I tend to plan trips that require certain itineraries or activities that also put pressure on me.

And, I am so anal about my work, that I feel required to "get ahead," not leave anything for my coworkers who are covering for me, to the extent that I feel obligated to work extra-hard to get ready to go.  When I return, I feel the need to get "caught up" right away...So, I put a lot of pressure on myself at work in regards to preparing for and returning from vacation.

My most recent weekend trip was different:  while I "worked ahead" at work, and did some weekend chores during the week, getting ready to leave town was not that stressful. And returning to work was not stressful.

Mostly, though, the plan for my vacation included some specific activities, but nothing required an exact or compact timeline.  While I like camping trips, I stayed in a motel, and had little maintenance chores to do for myself.   Part of what made the trip so relaxing was that I drove through long stretches of beautiful countryside:  What I think are beautiful prairies and plains, rolling sand hills, canyons small and large, coniferous and aspen forested mountains with babbling brooks or rivers chasing the winding road... Just gorgeous. 

This was one of the most relaxing trips I have ever taken...And, amazingly for me, as the work week progressed, and I found myself dealing with the stressors of the day, I was able to take myself back to that relaxed floating feeling I had while I was away...

I do not recall ever doing that with a vacation before...I wonder if I have had other trips that I could have done that with, but did not...Surely, this is not the FIRST time in my life I had a trip that was that relaxing, that stress-free, that enjoyable...

Making Plans versus Being Spontaneous

I can be very spontaneous about activities, and sometimes am.  But, I know myself, and know that I do better if a I have a plan.  It does not need to be a detailed plan, but there has to be some semblance of an idea or possibility that the activity will occur, before I usually engage in the activity.

I think this is in keeping with my somewhat rigid sense of rules and right and wrong.  I can be flexible, and I understand about grey areas.  But I do not like to break rules, I like to do the right thing just because it is the right thing to do. 

But, if I am contemplating an activity, and have considered it for a while, when the time comes, I frequently act swiftly.  So, while that is not total spontaneity, I do act quickly and on what some might think impulse.  It is just that they do not realize how much mental energy I have already put into the activity.

Organizing

I use every organizing trick I can think of, and am always interested in learning new ones.  I use the electronic calendar with reminders to notify me about when bills are due, and when activities are scheduled..  I have a special events electronic reminder service.  I use sticky notes, lists, and notes on doors. 

My calendar tells me when to change the furnace filter.  It tells me when the library books are due.  When I have non-work related appointments.  On Star tells me when to change the oil in the car.

For years, I have called myself (usually at work) to use my answering machine to remind myself about doing things.

When I have invitations, I add them to my calendar.  I have a specific basket where I put pending bills, invitations, notifications of events.  I check this basket once a week, at least. When I purchase a gift for a shower or party, after I wrap the gift, the invitation is moved to be on the gift, so I will know where I am going. And, my calendar tells me when.

Frequently, I load my vehicle the evening before with whatever needs to go with me the next day, as much as possilbe. 

Do I lose things.  Sometimes.  Do I miss things, sometimes. Do I forget things, sometimes.  But I try not to. Do I oversleep, sometimes. Am I late. Sometimes.  But I try to start early for most things, bring a toy for while I am waiting, to allow for delays I can not avoid. 

I do not carry a calendar with me to meetings.  I know my schedule in my head, and if anything unexpected comes up, I have to defer to my calendar... I learned this from someone a long time ago:   it gives you the chance to debate if you really want to commit to that or not.

Okay, so some of preparations are anal retentive, but they keep me on a better track than if I were not as prepared.  It takes me some effort to do these things, but I FEEL better, knowing my ducks are in a row... And, I do not spend scurrying at the last minute energy getting organized.

As far as I am concerned, trying to keep things organized helps my stress level to stay lower, and helps me to do better self care.  And frankly as far as stress and self care go, I need all the help I can get.

Traveling

I have spent the better part of the evening making travel plans to get to New York and New England to see family and friends.  I am excited about seeing family and friends, but find the process of making reservations distressing... Although the travel resources all look agreeable, there are so many rules about flight schedules, rates, check in, etc. that do not conform to what I want to do, the reservations process ruins the trip for me... Fortunately, I have about some time to recover before I travel, and that is a blessing.

Because I will no longer be traveling over a holiday weekend, and most of the folks I want to see will be working, I have shortened my trip by a day...And because I want to use my reward to pay for the flight, I had to delay my take off by a day... But, that is okay... I stress over being gone too long, away from the cats. So instead of 9 days, my trip will be 7... With two devoted to flying...Well, that is okay, too... I love reading and doing word puzzles, and will have lay over in Las Vegas, although, of course, I will not take in the city. 

If I did not worry so about the cats, I would drive cross country... I find that a most freeing experience... I am better about travel than I was, and have learned to enjoy the delays and lay overs, and plan nothing for the travel day but to travel.   It reduces the stress.  But driving is more freeing.

But this will be a fine trip, and I will see the people I want to see, and have some time just to be for me...

I have to learn to plan better for vacations.  It is a skill I have never learned.  I remember telling someone that once, and he was very surprised, but realized why it made me such a basket case about taking a vacation.... I just do not do it well.  Maybe I need some vacation coping skills classes....

I do it to myself

I find myself getting involved in things and over loading my schedule...There are so many things in life that I enjoy, and I want to participate in as many as possible.  Many of them are free or service activities, and offer me a very positive outlet...

This month is a perfect example: 2 book groups, 2 classes (3 sessions), an appreciation dinner, a workshop for NASW, a dinner party I will attend and an annual meeting for a group to which I belong, and a monthly meeting of another group...All, in two weeks.

A major swing from a schedule in which 2 basketball games in a week is a lot. It seems to run in cycles, and the things I want to do happen generally, all at once. Sometimes conflictually.

What suffers.  Well, I am a "floor piler" and my floors look like it right now... And, my dining room table does, too.  It will get cleaned at some point, but for now, stacks. 

Oh well, we do what we do...